Written by Char Groen
Pain Blinds…Dare to Dream Again
In my previous blog, I Wished She Had Died Instead, I talked about my relationship with my parents. I shared about my devastating loss of my father and my mom’s battle with severe depression and how our broken relationship had a significant impact on me in how I saw my present and future.
There were several events and experiences throughout my life that blocked my ability from seeing anything but the negative. My view of self was skewed through the glasses of low self-esteem, insecurity, hopelessness, rejection, etc.
It was difficult for me to believe for anything positive for my future!! Dreams…the ones I had, I quite easily convinced myself that they would never happen.
There were many years of desperation, and a hopelessness that blinded me from seeing anything good for my life. In addition, my mom’s words of, ‘nobody will ever want to marry you’ haunted me. These words (or lies) took root in your mind, and I lived them as truth. And all the while, I wore masks that gave quite a different impression that my life was good.
Something had to change!!!!!!! Either this God, who I had known about growing up, is who He says He is, or this life wasn’t worth living.
God began a work of healing. It’s been a journey but it has dramatically changed in the past couple years. I encountered the love of God in way that I had not yet experienced!! It was a love that healed the pain of things that never were, a love that healed the pain and brokenness of events and relationships, a love that restored, yes, RESTORED those things that He purposed for my life, and a love that healed my hatred of self.
The veil of pain and brokenness was being peeled back and removed and I began to see things from my past through different eyes. I began to see myself through God’s eyes and what He says about me in the Bible. I began to recall memories, times of family fun, principles instilled by my parents, and family/friend memories. I began to see that God was right there all along the course of my life. The Bible says in Psalm 56:8, that, “You (God) have collected all my tears in Your bottle…” Wow, God collected MY tears; He must have quite the collection from me. It’s also been a journey of releasing forgiveness, asking for forgiveness, and forgiving myself…
A hope for my future was infused as stated in 2 Cor. 5:17 “…behold, the old has passed away and I make ALL things new” It doesn’t say some are made new but ALL!!! Wow, that’s pretty incredible.
That doesn’t mean that everything from the past is forgotten but it’s been healed. No person can heal you, nor can you heal yourself but when you encounter the love of God, the One who created you, the One who loves you, now that’s TRUE love!!!! That’s where healing can take place…and the place to dream again!! Jeremiah 29:11 states it so perfectly, “For I KNOW the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE.”
Don’t let the pain, brokenness or failures of your past or present blind you from the dreams for your future. There is a God who can heal, restore and renew those dreams and plans for your life. I KNOW because my life is an example of it.
DARE TO DREAM AGAIN!!!!!!!
How has God revealed His love to you? Share your story and it could be featured on iamloved.tv.
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