Perfect Love vs. Fear… One Has To Go!

IMG_0713Written by Char Groen

Have you ever been so gripped by fear that it had a dramatic impact on your life? It seemingly came into my life at a young age and took up residence. It became an automatic response to new situations, and new challenges. I was controlled by fear for decades. Fear manifested itself physically where it would grip my throat like a vice grip, my heart would race or my face would turn beet red when I spoke.

Fear had a companion, self-hatred. I hated myself, wished I had never been born, and had suicidal thoughts for years. I would frequently ask God, “why did You create me anyway, this life isn’t worth it”. I was overwhelmed with hopelessness.

My standard of measure for love historically was always based on how my friendships were, quality of friendship and whether there was conflict. If there was conflict then I didn’t feel loved and it certainly must have been my fault. In my mind, Charlene = failure and unlovable. I was a fine recipe for disaster, a huge dose of fear mixed in with hatred of self and feeling unlovable.

I was challenged to assess my standard by which I measured love; it was not to be measured by my level of success or failure in things or by my relationships or lack there of. My standard of measure of love HAD to become what God says about me. I rejected that approach for years because I wanted, longed for the tangible right in front of me.  God wasn’t in front of me physically, I needed/wanted a person and to be loved.

I had a choice to make!!!!! Continue in my hopelessness, self-hatred and being consumed with fear or choose to believe what God says about me in the Bible.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear…”

What is perfect love? What does it mean to cast out?

God is perfect love!! Cast means to throw down. Perfect love and fear cannot coexist. I began praying that God would show me His love and to increase my ability to receive and believe that He truly loved me.

In my journey I started believing it; I encountered God’s love for me. I now BELIEVE that I AM LOVED. Along with that I started to battle fear. Early in 2014, God spoke to my heart saying, NEVER LET FEAR SILENCE YOU. I started making different declarations: I AM LOVED!! I AM FEARLESS!!

Char's ring

Am I without fear? No!! Fearless means that even though I may ‘feel’ fear I choose to move forward anyway.  Fear is a liar.
When fear and God’s PERFECT LOVE collide, one of them has to go; it’s a choice!!  Choose life!! Choose to believe that God loves you. Pictured is a ring that I had custom made, designed to remind me of His love for me and that I am fearless.


Love, Char

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